February Air
by Smynter
Summary: Dougie's in love with Harry, but he's trying to denied it. He's straight as an Ironing table. Is he's sure enough about that? PUDD Slash DP x HJ
1. Chapter 1

Yeah! a new fiction by me! it's been a fucking while since I've last post one! eheh And I hope this time won't ban it! eheh well, that's a One shot in 3 chapters, IT'S A PUDD hurray, with a hint of Pones and mention of Flones but sadly nothing more. And I've find a beta so everything is, I guess, all well with the grammar and stuff so... I'll stop talking and let you read ok ;) Review are much appreciated, that's what lead me to post next chapters;

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It never really was love, never been proper love. Maybe a little too much affection with those kisses on his collarbone from time to time and those snugging, but the contact of the brown boy occasionally put him at ease, as if reassured of something. Like a cocoon. Without falling into melodrama.

The odd had that the media attention were turned exclusively around him and Harry, PUDD they were called, but sometimes Dougie would like people to see what is actually happening. For Harry, this is entertainment, something to make them discuss about potentially something, but for Dougie, it was way more. In front of the cameras, he did not show it, preferring to push the'' advances'' his best friend was making, but instantly turns into something he could not break when they're off. As soon as they're alone, he would snug himself comfortably in the arms of his elder, driven by a primitive instinct. It was like this was the only place where he felt safe again.

Three days now they were on a writing trip somewhere lost in North Essex, a beautiful corner, very inspiring with the sea and its lighthouse lost to the horizon. Harry was traveling with his family at this time, could not be with them and it left a hole in Dougie's belly, he was not hooked, but good. It was like he had created a dependency a little less dangerous than alcohol. Specifically, he participated, recording his parts and laughing at jokes Daniel made, but mentally, it was like as if he was back in rehab, away from everyone, in his ordeal.

One evening, the eve of the arrival of Harry among them, a storm raised its sail on the horizon and if there was one thing he did not enjoy that much, it was storms, he could not sleep at night because of the winds and hailstones banging on his window. He even wondered how the others could sleep so well with all that noise. It was already past 3am when he decided to stand up and on tiptoe he goes to the little kitchen to make coffee. Yawning for the umpteenth time, he scanned the darkness outside and saw the light of one of the huts on the other side of the shore, they all thought they were abandoned, but seems like not since there's lights on three of them. He decided to look up at the stars, barely visible because it was so damn raining everywhere. Britain had never really known temperature like this, thank you global warming for that great show, but it fascinated the young man, perhaps even enough to make him forget the absence of Harry ... Oh Harry ...

**« Hey Mate ... what are you doing? The kettle sounds so loud it could wake an army »**

Danny's strong accent brought him out of his thoughts and he remembered the kettle on the fire, which does a lot of noise, whistling, dragging his feet on the floor, he went into the kitchen and always silent, he poured himself a cup of water well boiling, and he gives one to Dan before going on the sofa

**« Sorry… I… I was a bit out of my mind. »**

**« Are you ok? »**

**« Yeah… basically »**

**« It's never only ''basically'' when it is 3am and your pleasure is to wake the whole house with a satan's kettle »**

He smiled at Dan and he started to play with the handle of his cup. Not that he does not really want to talk to him, but it's almost that. He was so used to not share his problems with other people that he knew as easily how to create a story in a few seconds. He looked at Danny who prepared himself a coffee and he sighed, why bother to hide it anyway? His therapist had already said once that it's always good to talk and to keep something that is needed to be said was wrong. But still ...

**« The storm, Dan. It's all about the storm that is louder than that damned Kettle. 'Couldn't sleep so I decided to come and make some coffee. »**

**« Oh ... But you could've come to my room ... Or Tom's... »**

**« That wasn't the same. I ... I need Harry's. »**

That's it. He said it. And, then he would pass for an ungrateful friend who likes one of them more. That wasn't his fault if he prefers the musky odor of Harry instead of the sweet one of Tom or the masculine of Danny. Ok ... We usually never notice this stuff, he knows it, but it was hard, especially with Harry. He watched his friend sat next to him and, he smiled when he realized we could distinguish even in the dark, his freckles.

**« You know, he comes home tomorrow. But in the meantime, we're here »**

It definitely doesn't sound like a reproach, but Dougie had a twinge. As if Danny said he vowed a preference for the other brown, like a pang of jealousy, but he knew that it was definitely not the case. No, it was more out of pity?

**« ... I ... I feel empty without him Dan ... This is not normal, not for me ... I ... I should not feel like that »**

**« Well ... You know, that's what I feel too when Georgia is not there ... And, also that's how Tom feels when he is away from Gi. This is love Doug... »**

**« But I'm not in love! Not with Harry! »**

**« Oh Dougie ... Please, I can read you like I can read a packet of crisps. »**

The blond raised an eyebrow, he really never understood the reasoning of his friend, but he was sure of one thing, he lied. He was not in love with Harry. No. He felt the bromance, like their fans like to call them, nothing more; it was still the one who taught him to shave anyway! He loved Harry like the big brother that he secretly wanted. And, he was not gay! He liked girls ...

**« Doug ... We talk about love when everything that is in our mind is the person we love, sometimes we fell for someone we didn't imagine we could fall for ... But you may have to not go against that feeling there. We can pass them, after a while I guess, but not necessarily immediately. Sometimes, it's uh ... Platonic, at other times, you just need to imagine you away from this person for a long while to realize that eventually we would be lost without him or her ... And, I say that not only for a woman, it really can be anyone ... no matter if we're gay or not »**

**« But I'm not gay… »**

**« Dougs … you can't decide for your brain. It's just an orientation, something you can't discuss… »**

**« Dan ... You should really let go of coffee at night, 'make you talk like ... Tom ... »**

The thought that Danny and Tom have been more than just friend brushed his thoughts, but he didn't ask anything, tormented by his own problems. He sighed, trying to find a hidden blotch of coffee and finding none, he put his cup in the sink.

**« Gon' go sleep »**

**« night, sleep thigh Dougs and don't forget Harry arrives at noon tomorrow! »**

**« thanks Dan. And Piss off »**


	2. Chapter 2

BADUMTSSS! Yay Finally updated! I'm SO SO SO SO SO sorry about that, because i've lost all my data and I had to rewrite everything past the third chapter anyway YEAH :D

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By some miracle last night, the hail has stopped around 4:30 am, or was it because he fell asleep? Probably due to the pillow he had pressed on his head yeah. In short, he really had a hangover like head and the Chocolate Cheerios he was playing with since a while into his half empty bowl threatened to split into two. That night, he had not really had time to think about what Danny told him, probably preferring to forget about it, but now he was well awake and he was about to go and wait like a real kid to the window, he had it in mind. And, what if he was right? And, that he was definitely in ... love with Harry? No. It was a ridiculous thought, a fantasy. He thought about it just because the discussion he had with Danny last night and he had engraved the idea in his head.

Sitting on the edge of the window, after putting his empty bowl in the sink, he looked at the damage the mini storm the day before had caused. The hail had left a mini ice throughout the window and it was white everywhere. The sky, usually sunny, was filled with thick gray cloud and the thin layer of ice on the lake was cracked in several places, he crossed his arms, having several chills and left a trail of mist on the window. More than two hours before the arrival of Harry. He sighed, feeling the presence of Daniel at his side;

**« Have you though about what we talked about yesterday? »**

**« a bit… but I don't think I'm in love with Harry, the whole thing is a bit weird so… »**

**« Dougie… you're waiting after Harry like a little kids waiting after Santa Claus »**

**« No! You're lying! »**

**« so why aren't you coming to record some tunes … »**

**« My troat is sore and I'm feeling dizzy »**

He sighed, not really, he just wanted Danny to shut his mouth and to left him alone, all he asks for was silence. They were recording non-stop since 4 day now, he began to seriously be pissed about everything, waking up grumpy and feeling unproductive. And, then he put his forehead on the window, the cold was good and he stayed a while like that, even when his head began to ache as it was frozen. And, it also prevented him from thinking too much. But on the other hand, it is not by staying there that he will be productive for the 6th album, and especially he could just erase that crazy idea that Danny had to put in his head. Rising, he followed his friend in the living room where they improvised a mini studio. And, the absence of his best friend became a memory until he arrives in the vicinity of 12:45.

But he did not really have the time to talk with him; too busy recording those drums and bass parts for their next album. Tom then made them dinner while Harry tells them about his trip to the Bermuda. Although he wanted so bad, he couldn't even talk to him, as he went to bed early, it was then his turn to go up in his bed. But sleep did not come, as yesterday. He had a long sigh as he turned in his bed. The wind had begun his songs and seemed brutal against the windows of the poor old house, and Dougie began seriously to have his feet frozen, even with three pairs of socks and 2 large jackets. Rising, he went to the living room to make a fire and warmed himself. He looked at the flames during a long time. A bottle of alcohol was carelessly placed on the mantel, probably Daniel who stayed awake until late and he sighed, staring at the flames again sway against one another. Then, his thoughts bring him back to Harry, his strong and warm arms, like a grizzly bear or a wolf and even his hairy beard, although these days Dougie could easily compete with him, he thought about his cuddles and little peck on the cheeks, and the nonsense that the blond always repelled with a finger or inaudible words and he found himself smiling. Oh he could go and wake Harry up, ask him to sleep in the same bed as him, they would fall asleep in the arms of each other's, it was a habit since the band exist that they do that, but Dougie was surprised to be afraid, afraid of what? He suspected that it was about what Danny had advanced the day before, he was afraid to be ... love ... But at the same time...

He was pulled out from his thoughts by someone who surrounded his shoulders by two tanned arms and his head turned to the right and a particularly musky smell of aftershave filled his nostrils. Harry. Had he awaken him? Sometimes he has the grace of a bull in a China shop.

**« Hey Butty, you're cold as ice. »**

**« I've light a fire. »**

**« Why haven't you came to my room? »**

There were many of reason why he did not go to his room, but they would come to that point where he had to discuss about his problems and he did not want to because it would come back to tell him what he felt and he was definitely not ready. But at the same time ... as he was bored with not having Harry close to him, every muscles that clenched when he breathing, and as he's pressed hard against his chest. He closed his eyes for a moment, giving himself away to Harry's touch, enjoying his breath against his shoulder and burying his nose in his glossy neck, sniffing again and again his musky odor. It was these moments he adored, when no camera was pointing their lenses on them and when he could enjoy a good old cuddle, enjoying the silence that was broken only by the crackling fire.« How… How do we know if we love someone? »

**« Well, Doug, its individual to each person, I guess, I mean by that… well I… I suppose you look at them a lot, try and touch them as much as you could, those kind of thing you know, I think » he thought for a moment then asked « why? Are you in love Butty? »**

**« no. Well.. I just wanted to know... »**

He finally had the courage to get rid of Harry's arm to sit on the sofa where he was joined by him where he leaned against him, burying one of his large hands through his hair and stroking them gently. Instinctively, he climbed his legs on the sofa, coiling up a little more against the body of the brown. Being a cat, Dougie thought he would probably begin to purr. In fact, he would do it, but it would be silly and he did not want to spoil this moment he had with Harry.

**« I've missed you Dougie… »**

**« Oh, I'm sure you haven't ... there's full of things to do over there, you've certainely had much fun with Thomas ... And you must not think at all about your best friend that froze his balls here in the middle of nowhere. »**

**« If Only… »**

He said it in a near whisper against his hair, Dougie opened his eyes and looked at him a single moment, Harry looked down at him and they stared at each other. If he decided to break the few inches that seem to be separating them, he might just kiss him. But only if he haven't been so scared, he did nothing because after all, two friends do not kiss each other that way.

« I ... I think when you love someone, you feel all funny, as if you had eaten cotton ball for a week ... »

« So I might have eaten a lot of those… »

And then he said it, like a stream of words that fills the space. But curiously, he does not really regret it, as if it was natural to say this. It can be the hope that Harry would not understand the meaning of his sentence and that he might think he was talking about someone else, but in reality did he will guess that it's him who he had impregnate in the skin like the tattoos on his arms, but in his heart? It struck him hard in the chest, not because Daniel was right, but because he was close to the terrible truth.

« Doug? »

« mh? »

« You know that I'll always be there for you right? At any time, if you want to talk… »

He just ... cannot. He would like to, but it's embarrassing. And, he doubted, by the number of girl he had brought in his bed after many gigs that Harry does love him too. It was cliché and can be only seen in movies and fictions, but it was the feeling of insecurity that was growing in his stomach since around ten minutes and prevented him to kiss the other boy. And, it was his best friend and we don't kiss our best friend! At least, not like that!

He then felt the hand of his eldest gently stroke his cheek and he forgot about his troubles for a moment and even about the temperature outside that threatened to make explode everything all around them, then he raised his eyes again to see Harry looking at him too, then he'd drown. He really did not know how anyone could have those turquoise eyes too, even Dannys wasn't as deep or himself, whose were often more gray like hardened steel. No, Harry had deep blue eyes like two Caribbean abyss that often changed, when his character changed. He could not really distinguish them by the firelight, but he knew they had this characteristic glow when Harry was concerned, and he followed the line of his aquiline nose, then his mouth, well round and small. He imagined to kiss them when then others would have turned their back, like a secret thing. Then, like an automaton, he closed his eyes when his friend slipped his hand to his neck, stroking the little hairs on the birth of his skullcap, while receiving flashes of pleasure where he should not have. His heartbeat was fast and his head was screaming; Kiss him! Kiss Harry! But his body was petrified at the thought that Harry would understand and pushes him, he was petrified at the thought of ruining everything. At the same time, a little voice in his head told him to fuck off. If he pushes him, although they would eventually pass over that if and if he did it once for all, he would be finally sure of something whether Harry would kiss him back or not.

But something happened, something that he would not even have thought about it being possible one day. Lips, rough and small, were collided with his. Initially surprised, he then proceed to realize that this was not the fruit of his imagination, and when he felt Harry's fingers dig into his hips, he moaned, clutching his neck colliding close to him. Then, came those games of tongue and touches, which went there and everywhere on the others body, touching a muscle exposed, or a hollowed hip, projecting chills everywhere through the spine of the other. In the heat of the moment, Dougie stood in knee beside Harry, still without letting his lips and he felt him also turn to face him, then reluctantly, he let Harry stand back, just enough to stick his head to his, leaving Harry with a triple eye.

**« Wow… I … Dougie I … wow… I mean… I had this urge to kiss you so bad… »**

**« I… I'm… Harry… so… sor… what? »**

**« Dougie ... I'm sorry you might hate me ... Now I well ... I just ... I did not ... »**

He looked at Harry get up to go fanned the fire which had begun to fade and he looked at his back muscles contracted, it was quite the time that has to choose to go to him, told him to face him and just kiss him back. Embracing him by behind, he pressed his lips against his shoulder blade and with a small voice, he whispered;

**« Hazzy… I've… I've missed you so… so much… you know… and… this… this feeling we were talking about earlier… I… I have it… now… close to you… »**

**« You know Dougie… those vacations I had with my family? That… That was basically because of my coming out… I… I'm gay Dougie. »**

Suddenly, it was as if the earth had stopped spinning, as if the storm had stopped roaring outside ... Harry was gay. This may explain some things, but the things that can be worst were that Harry had kept it as a secret to him. And, why was he hiding it from him then? ...

Retreating, he assimilated the shock gradually, not knowing if he should explain to Harry that he was in love with him, though he's not gay. Then, looking at him, he sighed, looking at the floor;

**« … I'll… I'll go to bed… good night Harry… »**

And he went to his room, where he let the pressure felt back on his shoulders.

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R&R much appreciated and i'll post the next chapter soooon


	3. Chapter 3

hehehe I'm back! See? ahha well here's part three! :) and if you want, I have a song for you to listen to while reading, it's called ''A Fire'' by Jeffrey Piton, it inspired me for most of part 3 to the last one :) IT'S ALMOST OVER D: . Also, I would like to thanks kbeto, mandyrose2128 and Daisy for your review! :) next chapter is for you! and again, sorry for the grammar mistakes it could have there and there. And Ps: i'm sorry it's incredibly short, but you'll see why in part 4 :) Keep the R&R come! :)

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When Dougie awoke this morning, he became aware that a few minutes ago, he was curled up at the foot of his door in a position that gave him unpleasant aches and heavy eyelids of someone who wouldn't have slept at all the night before. He must have been fall asleep there after returned to his room. Initially, he had completely forgotten why he was in this unfortunate position, then slowly, the memories of last night reappeared, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. His best friend that he'd kissed the day before, had told him that he was gay. He could not blame him for that, but then, why he felt like that then? Why did he felt like a total twat when he was supposed to support him? Danny might have known it that must be why he tried to put the stupid idea that he was in love with him in his head. Like Danny is kind of a Fangirl that tried to make his OTP real. Dougie shook his head, the lack of sleep and his back aches gave him crazy ideas.

Rising him up from the floor, he proceed to get ready to go take a shower, with the idea that it would evacuate that bad impression that was clung into his skin. Hoping not to meet anyone, he slipped out of his room, looking at the clock, it was just 7:30am , Tom was still asleep and he could clearly heard Danny snoring in the last room of the alley. He didn't even sneak a look at Harry's door, guessing that he was asleep too probably tired from his trip ... But...

He must have had the same idea as Dougie, yeah probably. The bathroom had been renovated and the owners had set a shower which at first could allow a full view of Harrys Body, studded with beads of water running down his body hauled by the sun of the Bermuda. One of his hands was placed carelessly on the tile and Dougie dared direct his gaze along his tanned arm and finally on his other hand, then he realized what was happening, he drew back slowly, still hypnotized by what he was seeing, with his eyes closed and his mouth open just a little, there was Harry who was shagging himself, stroking in a jerky motion his full 12 inches cock. Dougie could just leave him alone, but something in his head urge him to continue to watch his eldest doing this. Basically, he could not stop his eye wander up and down on the exposed body of Harry. He was stroking his penis nimbly up and down, stroking his cock just a moment before pushing his head back and whisper while ejaculating;

**« Ohh… Ohhh Dougie! »**

Panicked at the idea that he caught him looking at him, the young man went out from the bathroom, returning to his room, panting. Why didn't he leave? When he realized what he was doing. No, he had to stay, just to look at him doing it. And, now, it was his turn to have trouble because of his own erection. Many times before he had seen him naked, naked, he knew that his best friend had a beautiful, long cock, but never ... he never had thought he would ... see this ... Yes he knew that Harry was doing it often, very often, he often did it himself, but he would never have thought to see his best friend doing it right in front of him. And, the thought made him feel incredibly weird and then he had this way of saying his name, precipitate while ejaculating. Tightening his grip just a little on his cock, Dougie bit his lip, he had no right to think about him like that, after all, had not he had just got caught? But it was so much stronger than him, imagining Harry, all his greatness, EVERY muscle in his body tensed in front of him as he stroked so eagerly, until he came, moaning his name ...

**« Ohhh Harry! Fuck! »**

Gradually becoming aware of what he had done, Dougie looked for a moment his hand stuck with his own semen and sighed, uncomfortable and regretting what he had done. He whipped out his hand on his boxers, then he withdrew it before putting a clean one to fall into the routine of recording these damn demos. Not that he didn't like it, but he would better catch up on all the sleep he had lost those past days.

During the day although, very often, his eyes wandered to his best friend who forced himself on the drums. Then, he tried to understand what could have escaped him. Harry gay. Oh for sure, he had many done these covers for Attitude that he gladly called his acts of charity for gay, but he always said it with a certain gleam in his eye, and his many hugs and kiss to him ... the kiss they shared last night, which was nothing but a little peck on the cheek. But what Dougie less successful explained to himself is why he slept with women if he's ... well he like to suck other dude popsicles? And, why the hell didn't he tell him before? And, he wondered if Danny and Tom knew? Was he the only one not to know?


	4. Chapter 4

HEEEY :D it's me again, have you missed me?! :D so many things happening in my life these day and just had time to post that. As usual, sorry for the grammar mistakes aaaannnd sadly, there's two more chapter at that story :( but i'll probably update Mr. Judd soon so keep an eye on it! and if you didn't know what Mr. Judd is, just check it out on my profile haha

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It's during the supper in their last night there, three days later that he finally got his answer, sitting in front of Harry and ignoring his insistent gaze, he battled against his piece of breaded fish when he heard his best friend speak in a croaked voice;

**« I… erm… have something to say… »**

**« It look like you killed a man Haz, what's happening? , **_Asked Tom, worried _**»**

Dougie followed Tom who sat next to Danny and he could not help but imagine them as they kissed in secret, hidden from the world, when Harry dropped the piece;

**« Nah… well… In fact Tom, I… I am gay… »**

As a triggering agent, Dougie broke, as governed by a force that doesn't even know it existed, getting up, he sent his fork waltz;

**« And them? You won't kiss them!? Doing your thing and… stuff?! »**

**« Doug, man, are you ok? Calm down, what's happening?, **_Asked Danny as he stand up too_** »**

**« Ask him Dan. It'll probably be a pleasure to answer you! »**

Leaving the kitchen, he grabbed his coat and left outside, lighting a cigarette. Dougie was not really the type to lose his control in front of the other, never was, even when the thing happened a year ago, but it was one time too many. He was furious at Harry, mad against his damn secret, why did he haven't told anyone before? Looking at the horizon, he cursed, lighting a second cigarette when felt a presence at his right;

**« You know… he didn't do it to make you upset or hurt… »**

**« Oh and you're in his head now Dan.. »**

**« No…» **

**« He lied to us! Keeping that thing secret since 10 years. You think it's normal? We're… well I am his best friend! »**

**« He was afraid… Afraid to lose everything… us… you… »**

**« Oh and when did you and Tom come out of the closet too then? »**

**« For Fuck sake Doug! You are hurting Harry, more than anyone else! Don't you realise that already?! And you know that he's not the only one to hide a secret! »**

**« Oh go fuck yourself Dan. »**

Leaving the porch, he joined the strike, which had been left in pitiful condition, following the two storms the coast had suffered during the last two night. The time had suffered the consequences since it was freezing cold, forcing the blond to tighten its grip against his coat suitable for less Nordic temperatures. Lighting a third cigarette, he took the first breath, inhaling the smoke slowly while watching one of the houses he had seen the first time he had a discussion with Harry and his thoughts flies miles away from where he was.

Since Harry had returned, he had the impression of something that had change, as if the storm also have hit his head and he began to believe that Danny was right, but how could his mind have so much change at this point that he's questioning himself about his sexuality? Catching some gravel on the shore, he began to threw them into the water, imagining that each of these stones were an argument, if it bounced more than three times, the argument was a true one, otherwise, it was just a trick of his mind.

He wasn't in love with Harry, it was impossible because he was not attracted by men, he never imagined holding hands or even kissing another man in front of other people or generally. Ok. He kind of really enjoyed the kiss they shared, and the thing he has done when he saw Harry masturbate, but it did not count, as they were alone and it was an impulse for the kiss and a simple coincidence for the other. But the thing that offended him the most was that he quite enjoyed Harrys kiss. That it was kind of different, like he had kissed a cute girl with a beard.

Then he thought of that night, where they kissed. If he had not let Harry go back and they would continue, would they have break the barriers of their friendship? Did they just... would have slept there, after they had sex? He sometimes thinks about what could have had happened, Harry and him cuddling on the couch, naked, fondling, and then kissing tenderly. It gives him a butterfly explosion he never had with a woman or another boy, as if there was only Harry who could cause this kind of reaction. And, he thought about it now too.

**« Why is it so complicated god damn! »**

**« That's because you want to make it complicated. »**

Turning slowly, he sighed, Harry had managed to join him, a cigarette dangling carelessly in his small delicious lips. He had dark eyes, a sign that he was quite angry and Dougie suspected exactly why. Looking to move to his side, he also took a handle of gravel and sent some on the water.

**« You know… I didn't want to hurt anybody… by telling you all that… »**

**« but you did! I am your best friend Harry! I'm not the kind of person to act… bad… »**

**« Well… I can have my doubts ... I had some valuable proof… twice ... »**

The tone of his voice was low and it is only there that Dougie realized how bad he hurt him. He was the one who formerly had promised to never to hurt him and he did not keep his promise. At the moment, all he wanted is to hug him or even do some things to alleviate the bad he has done to him for three days, but he knew it didn't work like that. He knew that Harry was repulse, he knew because he had been stupid and he simply could not afford to hug and comfort him like before, as if he had lost the privilege to.

**« Harry… It took you 10 years to finally say it. How you want me to respond!? And then you kiss me just before it ... it ... I've been destabilized! »**

**« To ... you ... the kiss we shared the other day ... means what. »**

**« … Excuse me? »**

**« The kiss means what to you Dougie! »**

He looked down. So many emotions have probably already passed on his face, from confusion to fear through doubt. He was so scared. Afraid that Harry could laugh at him or just going away from him and that he would lose him forever. Dougie was confused. Confused, because he began to understand everything. Did Harry is in love with him? Grabbing yet another cigarette, he lit it and drew his breath towards the sea, staring at it for a long time.

**« I… I don't know any more Harry… »**

**« You… you know… I… I kind of did it on purpose… »**

**« I … I want to understand myself what is happening… »**

**« I've talked with Danny… I… I wanted to… know »**

**«… Harry? Did you love me?... »**

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Uh hoooo! What will happen? Did Harry will say yes? or no? or maybe? What's your opinion? R&R again ? :D


	5. Chapter 5

Whooo! I'm sorry if I haven't updated since a while, Still struggling with personal issues, It was impossible for me to post so HEY I'M BACK! and sadly, it's the last chapter of February Air, and it's incredibly short, BUT don't wipe your eyes too easily, i'm coming back with an epilogue ;) Anyway, I do hope you've loved this story like I loved to wrote it (:

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It was like the time has stopped, he had plunged his gaze into his cold one. He had to ask him, it was like a need. In fact, the word had slipped between his lips. He knew there was a chance that Harry misunderstands everything that he think he was talking about their friendship, but at the same time, he knew Harry was not stupid.

**« ... Yes. Yes Dougie, I love you. I love you so much that I was foolish enough to hide it for 10 fucking years from you that I was gay. Since the day of the audition, you know. I wanted to protect you as I tried to protect myself of that secret for 10 years. I love you Dougie. »**

Neither hot, nor cold. Neither that he did run away. Nop. Instead, driven by the impulse he had a few days earlier when he saw him in the shower, he did not flinch that time, but he walked over to Harry, pushed on tip toes and then kissed him. He almost felt, when Harry grabbed his waist, but he caught himself almost immediately on his shoulders. A warm sensation ran down his spine, making him shiver when he finally parted lips with his best friend, then he opened his eyes to look at him, his eyes still closed. Dougie laughed like an idiot.

**« You know you look like a girl who'd just kissed her idol? »**

**« Shut up, I was living a thing now »**

He began to smile too, as if nothing had happened, which made him laugh even harder. Dougie begun to blush when he again crossed Harry's eyes.

**« So… you… too? »**, _Asked Harry, while removing a blonde strand before Dougies eyes_

**« I… I don't know Harry… Maybe… Maybe not? » **_he looked at his foot for a while, sighting_

**« But… »**

**« I know… But I've only realised that I had these feeling deep down inside me so… you know… »**

**« And… us two… What… are we? And What About the Kiss? »**

Approaching slowly, he slid his hand over the rough cheek of Harry and finally caught his lips in a slightly desperate kiss he didn't know he wanted it to be. Grabbing his coat, he squeaked, forcing a move with his tongue between Harry's lips. Dougie really believed he could never let go of Harry's lips, not even need to catch his breath, but the wind was still rising a little over the minutes that made him come back to the real life, resting his forehead against Harry's he breaks the kiss, panting;

Together with Harry, it was a concept that Dougie would never have imagined before. Together as a couple. Together like two people kissing and sleep together, two people that have sex. He felt like a teenager who lived his first love, except that this time it was with a man and incidentally his best friend.

**« Love me Harry ... Love me and I'll love you back. I don't know if I'll love you as you love me, but I know you are imbued in me like a drug, I'm addicted and I want to scream ... I want you ... I want you as someone would be in need of heroin, it's unhealthy, but if I lose because of your secret and my stupidity, I'll go crazy ... »**

**« Oh… Dougie… »**

**« Harry Judd ... I'll learn how to love you ... I do promise ... and I also promise not to be silly »**

**« Oh no! I disagree! A Dougie not silly, it's a sad Dougie! And I do not want a sa Dougie! »**

Intertwining his fingers with Harry, he laughed, kissing him again.

A silent promises, just a few words like that. But it was enough for the two boys to be satisfied with everything.


	6. Epilogue

Hello! i'm so so so sorry for the delay! omg. And It's unbeta cause I've had a lot of issue and I went on vacation so... yeah ... I'M SORRY but here's the last chapter of February Air :) and check it out, soon i'll post another one I had the chance to write on vacation hehehe :)

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It was two years ago. What happened since that time? Probably a lot. Tom married Giovanna; Danny was going to propose to Georgia, they were preparing for their eighth album as they returned to the cozy little house to record the new demos. But this is the usual. You, I guess that you want to know what happened between Dougie and Harry. I hear you scream'' Are they still together or Harry have suffered? '' Well ... what if we discover it together?

One night, a storm raised his sail over the horizon, like two years ago and if there was one thing he did not like, it was storms. Wind and hail slapped repeatedly on the window of the house and he groaned. It was nearly three o'clock in the morning and he didn't find sleep at all and he was starting to get cold, so he got up and put on a jacket too big for his frail shoulders and dragging his feet on the floor, he went to the place where so many things had arrived. Gaping like a crow, he went to the living room where he saw a massive shape looking outside the window, a mug closes to his mouth.

It was Harry. He didn't get at least a hug nor a kiss from him for at least three days from their first day here on the cottage, which had left the boy puzzled to no end, Harry even decided to sleep in his former room when they came first, although Tom and Danny were apart from their family the only one to know about them. Dougie knew, or rather suspected, why he was like that, but he did not know why Harry was so distant.

He approached his friend and wrapped his hips with his shivering arms, he felt the muscles in his back stiffen against his chest. He wanted to back away, but he did not let go, even tightening his grip . The heat of Harry's back made him feel better, as if he had decided to open a fire in the fireplace to warm up the place and he felt Harrys hand took his between his large fingers, stroking the back of one of them with his thumb, sending a series of chill through his spine and finally to forbidden areas. Dougie buried his nose in the neck of his elder and closed his eyes, remembering the first night they had sex for the first time, during their promotional tour. Dougie was waking up with a nose buried deep in the crook of his lovers neck, no matter where Harry was, as long as it was close to him, he felt good. He felt complete.

« Storms are the worst over here… » _Harry was still looking at the horizon_.

« yeah… and I don't like them… »

« I know »

He sighed. He was so eager to talk with him about the last few days, to ask him why and how, but it wouldn't come out , so he just enjoy the embrace he currently have, plunging into the heat of the powerful body of the drummer, as this might probably be the last one he'll ever get...

« What are you thinking? » He could feel Harry tense a bit.

« Us. »

« Butty… can I ask you something »

« Yeah… »

That was it. Harry will break up with him. He felt Harry turning in his embrace to face him and the diffuse glow of the storm allowed Dougie to watch Harry's grave and beautiful eye, they were dark blue at the moment, like after they had sex. He felt his massive hands surrounding his face and he almost expected to get a kiss, but he just caress his cheek with his right hand;

« Did you love me? » _his voice was broken, Dougie sigh._

He closed his eyes. Indulging in the caress of his elder and sighed thoughtfully. He saw himself two years ago, on the shore, when Harry asked him the same thing and he replied that he didn't knew. He knew that after two years, he could not answer him the same thing, then he began to think of all those moments spent in his company, how since the day they got back to London, they began to squat in one another more often, these stolen kisses backstage or on the tour bus, these long after sex nights they spent just staring at each other, or even those moments when they fell asleep on the sofa at Toms house, after a movie night. He even knew that sometimes, Harry whispered in his ear those three words and he also knew that his lover was waiting patiently for the day when he would tell him back, but he knew he was waiting for a special occasion. Could it be today?

Feeling Harry backing away gradually, he caught his arm, stopping his movement.

« After all those shit I have experienced in my life and after all this shit that you had since the first time, where our paths crossed for the first time and even to this day, two years earlier and _oh my god I'm becoming into Tom it's horrible_, Harrold Mark Christopher Judd, yes I love you. I love you more than I could love my own mother or even my life since I'm sane again. Harry, yes I love you and I'm so gutted that I haven't answer you all those times you thought I was asleep and you told me you love me. But I say it now for all those times and to infinity. I love you, Harry. I love you too. » _he was on the verge of breaking into tears._

He'd finally said it. He finally answered that one question Harry had thought he secretly told him all those times or after sex when he was asleep in the crook of his neck and he felt the voice of his lover whispering to him in his hair. Grabbing his lips, he knew beforehand that tonight he won't sleep alone. "


End file.
